1.30.2013

from my heart...

i have no pictures to share today... i'm just writing from my heart...

yesterday i went to visit my aunt who is home from texas... i look forward to that when she's home because it's always so nice to sit and talk with her... while she's here she stays at my grandparents house...

while i was very excited to see her and catch up, it's getting harder for me to see my grandma g. these days... i'm very fortunate to still have my 3 grandparents... but my dad's mom has been sick for quite a while... i have always been very close with her and it just makes me so sad to watch the decline... i pulled away a bit because it was hard for me to see her getting worse... that is selfish on my part... i recognize that... i think we all deal with things differently and i am not a fan of change... it kind of scares me... and the changes i'm seeing over there are scary ones... i went two weeks ago and it was rough... she couldn't hear me which made me so sad... and she barely spoke... the one thing she said to me was "where did the years go?"... she closed her eyes and tears streamed down her cheeks... all i could do was sit and hold her hand and cry with her... 

i went back over to see her last week and spent some time there today... when i asked her if she wanted something to drink, i wasn't sure if she even heard me... there was a little delay and when i turned around all i heard was "how about a hi-ball?"... she made me laugh... my whole life i don't think i've ever seen her have a drink, unless it was a small glass of beer with salt in it on a really hot day... when i looked back at her in her hospital bed, which is now in the living room, she had a big smile on her face which made me smile, too... then she rested her eyes again...

sometimes in life we have to do hard things... this is one of those times for me but i know that this time is precious and i am so very thankful for the time that i am spending with her...

always hold your loved ones close... 

have a happy day~
angie

6 comments:

Amy Nordgren-Ditz said...

Thinking of you Angie! =) It's always hard to watch someone you love age or to watch someone suffer from cancer. I've lost all of my grandparents and when I talk about them it's sad, Lilly only knows them from a picture and she only got to meet my grandfather - both my grandma's would have loved to have met her. You are so lucky your grandma has had the time to spend with your girls over the years ;) We all need to cherish every day and I think our busy lives make us forget about how lucky we are everyday!

Chelle said...

Make her the hi-ball. She probably is looking for a whiskey sour or a pussy cat. In fact, make her as many as she wants and drink them with her. They are memories you will never forget and ones she will cherish now. True Story.

MOM said...

BROKE MY HEART AND MADE ME CRY!

oopsiemaizie said...

amy... thanks for the kind words, friend!

oopsiemaizie said...

chelle... (hugs) & thanks for the advice... it's so hard...

oopsiemaizie said...

sorry mom... didn't mean to make you cry :(